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<title>Why you shouldn’t smoke by Ravenoftheskyes</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27155654">Why you shouldn’t smoke</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravenoftheskyes/pseuds/Ravenoftheskyes'>Ravenoftheskyes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fics I wrote for school assignments [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>No Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, It‘s a parody, LMAO, This is some bullshit I wrote for a school assignment, Yes this was an actual assignment for school., a joke, if I don’t get an A on this I’m suing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:08:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>464</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27155654</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravenoftheskyes/pseuds/Ravenoftheskyes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Y’ALL I’VE C R A C K E D THE CODE. I’VE FIGURED IT OUT.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fics I wrote for school assignments [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2236020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Why you shouldn’t smoke</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Smoking is deadly and dangerous. It’s a fact of life. You will die if you ever touch a cigarette. Or even if you look at one. 100% of the people who have or will ever touch a cigarette die. Source: Everyone dies at some point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cigarettes are instruments of destruction by big pharma!! They contain dangerous chemicals that they use to rot your lungs and control your mind so that you want to buy more cigarettes!! That’s terrifying, right? The moment you look at a cigarette, you are cursed to crave one for every day for the rest of your life!!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This is why you must never look at, think about, or touch Cigarettes. Even THINKING ABOUT it may kill you! I am here to think about it for you, you don’t have to risk dying!! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I have never succumbed to the curse of cigarettes and smoking, but you may! You must resist with all your might, or you may get killed! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Do not think about cigarettes. That will rot your brain. Do not look at Cigarettes. They will make you go blind. Do not smoke cigarettes. They will rot your lungs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cigarettes are a dangerous form of mind control that Big Pharma uses to convert you to the cult of Illuminati. They will 100% kill you and then use your organs to fix up more cult members until the entire world is under their control. They are dangerous. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The world is a scary, dangerous place and your only defense against it is to ignore all the bad stuff. Ignore cigarettes. The moment this speech ends, you do not know they exist. You do not know who they are. You do not know about the Illuminati. You do not know about Big Pharma. You don’t know they’re trying to control us all. You don’t know that all the birds have been shot and they’ve all been replaced with spy drones. You don’t know that the birds work for the bourgeoisie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My uncle is a spy inside Big Pharma, and he told me everything. And now, I’m telling you. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sky is blue because the government is dying it blue. We can only see it that way because we have been thinking about cigarettes. The truth is that the sky is all the colors of the rainbow! And I will see it, the government can send all the snipers they want I WILL NOT BE SILENCED. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The ocean is only blue because it is filled with dangerous chemicals! That’s why you can’t drink it, not because it’s ‘salt water’!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now, you may be asking, where’s the proof for all this? You shouldn’t need proof. You should trust me because I am a 15 year old girl and obviously I am an authority on the subject. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I honestly can’t tell whether this is the stupidest or the best thing I have ever written.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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